All I know is that I feel like a sick man who has been getting steadily worse,
until at last he calmly and without regret extends
his feeble hands over the bedspread he had been clutching.
To possess,
in the shade,
that nobility of spirit that makes no demands on life.
Since this is the life he gave me,
this is the life I’ll live.
I don’t know if I’m happy this way.
It’s been raining for two straight days,
and the rain that falls from the cold
grey sky has a colour that afflicts my soul.
I love certain lyric poets precisely because they weren’t epic or dramatic poets,
because they had the intuitive wisdom never to want
to express more than an intensely felt or dreamed moment.
How can I possess with my body,
when I don’t even possess my body? How can I possess with my soul,
when I don’t possess my soul? How can I understand with my mind,
when I don’t understand my mind? There is no body or truth we possess,
nor even any illusion.
These pages are the scribbles of my intellectual self-unawareness.
The value of art is that it takes us away from here.
You smile? I hadn’t realized,
but the stars were coursing my inner skies.